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Read More »Canada Geese Migration Cut Short To Keep Privileged Fucks Like You Warm
As the polar vortex struck the midwest, students struggled to find the perfect outerwear to combat the subzero temps. Just when all hope seemed lost, one species stepped in to save the day: the Canada goose. “Yeah, I had to leave Karen and the kids early to go back north,” ...
Read More »Letter from the Editorial Staff
Dear StudLife, You win. We’re not gonna lie, it’s been a good run. If you’d told us fifteen years ago that Student Life, the real student newspaper, would deliberately confuse inclusive content with lack of editorial discretion, we would have laughed. That’s our job! Really, we’ve published on just about ...
Read More »StudLife Makes Medical Breakthrough, Publishes Actual Cancer as Written Text
Citing years of research and reportorial studies, Student Life announced a medical breakthrough late Monday: the successful synthesis of cancer cells into a series of op-eds. The op-eds, which discuss resolving polarization by feeding polarization, marked a pivotal moment in the reduction of tumor cells to written text. “It took ...
Read More »Op-Ed: Donkey Kong Only Wears a Tie. You Seeing this Shit???
This is Donkey Kong. You may know him from such titles as Super Smash Brothers, Hotel Mario, and Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast. However, you probably do not know him as “that monkey who only wears a necktie, and nothing else.” Yes, you heard that right. “DK” wears neither shoes, ...
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