WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
As John Milton would say, “Brisk as the April buds in primrose season.” This perfectly sums up the Spring Symposium of Fiction Fiction Fiction 1 students. (Note: their stories are only complete in a “figurative sense,” because the writing process is never truly finished.) Courageously, these students have hidden under desks, behind potted plants, and in closets as their professor offered up their pieces for publication in WUnderground, WashU’s premiere literary magazine. Here, we present to you these stories. These pieces are first-time published and first-time being read without jazzy snaps:
Excerpt #1: Ode to Life
“Period. Period. Period. Which came first? Chicken, or egg. Don’t be chicken of the truth. THE Truth. Life is an unreality. Really, we are all in the Matrix. That Advil you just took? Fucking blue pill, idiot. Level. Get on my Level. Period. Period. Tampon. Rebirth…” (pg 29)
Excerpt #2: Going Global
“The cold waves between my wrinkled toes inspire a tantalizing juxtaposition of excitingness and anticipation. I am a local, here, in Cancun. I feel at peace for the first time, here, in Mexico, during my week off from courses in March through early April that some may call Spring Break. A young woman in her mid-thirties with onyx hair and a thin smile approaches and says hola. As she takes my lunch order in Spanish, I feel the true spirit of Mexico. A cultural awakening…” (pg 1)
Full Piece #3: A Fiery Tale
“Once upon a time at WashU, there was a really hot oil prince with muscles like Schwarzenegger and an ass that wouldn’t quit. While at the gym, a beautiful maiden needed help setting up the bench press weights. She was also really fucking hot. The strong prince came to the rescue of the maiden and they hooked up on the third floor of the DUC, and she fell in love with him for all of time. (It’s me, guys; I’m the prince. Now give me that Fiction 1 4.0)”
Truly, WashU is home to many of the brightest minds in Missouri. What a mission of excellence this course strives for, based entirely on peer feedback and community learning. Snaps, Fiction Fiction Fiction 1!
