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He may be going to jail for bank fraud and bypassing campaign laws, but Trump’s ex-personal attorney should be locked up for arson. On February 27, Michael Cohen completely incinerated Representative Mark Meadows (R-N.C.).
Rep. Meadows, an outspoken supporter of President Trump’s policies, took a swing at Cohen’s claim that “President” Trump is “a racist” on Wednesday. Meadows, having been raised in North Carolina, never learned how to read the letter ‘c’, so he could not address Cohen’s accusations that Trump is both a “con man” and a “cheat”. Yet, as a man who does his best to repeat any harebrained statement Trump tweets out like a racist version of the game “Telephone”, he could not let this slander stand unchallenged. Meadows took a swing at Cohen’s claim that Trump os “a raist [sic]” by demanding to know how Trump could tolerate Lynne Patton, an African-American woman, in his administration without bursting into flames.
When Patton opened her mouth to speak, Meadows interrupted, “She says that as a daughter of a man born in Birmingham, Alabama, that there was no way she should work for an individual who is raist [sic] — how do you put the two of those-”
Suddenly, the House was ablaze in a hellscape of moral rectitude. Fire licked up and down the aisles. Michael Cohen’s voice boomed out: “As neither should I, as the son of a Holocaust survivor.”
Rep. Meadows, in a seizure-like fit, collapsed.
Throughout the House, in an outburst of emotion that seemed to wash over listeners like a wave of righteousness, gentiles began to cry. Elderly, white supremacists convulsed in system overload. Later, Jim Sensenbrenner (R-W.I.) recalled that he felt “…overtaken by the need to point out that that’s not racism because Jews are white but simultaneously driven by the self-serving instinct to wait until Trump’s second term to admit [he] was a full-on Nazi.”
Cohen’s sick burn of Rep. Meadows rings especially true in the shadow of Trump’s visible non-response to the harrowing events of Charlottesville in 2017. After he successfully blew the whistle on the President, a historic moment was realized: on this day, a meschugener got officially fucking wrecked.
