WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Dear WUnderground, Any advice on finding a boyfriend for this Christmas season? Sarah Hi, Sarah, We at WUnderground know how difficult it can be for holiday-loving lonely hearts. It seems like the only Christmas lovers are Tinder users Zach, 19, promising to “put the toe in mistletoe” and Mac, ...
December, 2022
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24 December
A Sprinkle of Hate this Holiday Season
Sexually aroused, confused, comforted, disturbed, deaf in one ear…alone. I felt all these things and more post-attending my first college a capella concert. Sitting in the pews of a place where a funeral had occurred a week ago, I assured myself nothing could be worse than that. I wish ...
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24 December
A Holiday Mystery as White as Our Alumni
Winter is abrewing. That means the skies are stormy, the frats have new pledge classes, and WashU has countless broiling lawsuits when the WashU bear cubs of tiger-mama’s slip on the way to Management 100. All of this is to say, mysterious white powders are showing up all over WashU ...
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24 December
SeAsOnS GreEtInGs from the WashU Republicans
Location: North Pole Feeling: A bit peeved off Well, it’s official. Santa has gone woke. That’s right, he’s Jewish now. Just kidding. But it’s almost just as bad. Old Saint Nicholas must have asked his little serfs for a surfboard this year (we’re still busting nuts for his union busting) ...
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24 December
My Christmas List For Santa
My Christmas List for Santa Dear Santa, Â I got an extensive list this year because I was super cool and nice to my little brother Brady who fucking stinks and smells like Lemonheads all the time. I even went and visited him at Tufts and met his girlfriend ...