WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
“Eccentric” fails to capture the men of Tinder. They like dogs. They can quote The Office. They eat food. They are not like the rest of us, and therefore require a girl of a certain quality. A girl able to rise above the curse of her basic, homogeneous gender. Someone, ...
October, 2022
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27 October
Top 10 Reasons We’re Enemies
10. you laughed too hard at my self-deprecating joke 9. You asked me where Bolivia was in front of people 8. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat you said no 7. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat in ...
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27 October
Now That’s What I Call the Absence of Music
Who knew a boy named Travis finding inspiration at an amusement park called Six Flags Astroworld in the late 90s would result in a WashU sophomore looking down at her phone and being overwhelmed with a sense of mild disappointment in 2022. A Butterfly Effect indeed. Fall Wild has been ...
April, 2022
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1 April
Op-Ed: We Should Let Biden Take Bribes
Joseph R. Biden is the most bribeable man alive, and the fact that we don’t let him fulfill that destiny is a travesty. Think about it: the man has the light senility and good heart (figuratively) of a horse out to pasture, and the fact that we don’t allow him ...
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1 April
Op-Ed: Wikipedia, Stop Nagging Me
Look. I’m not trying to make a big deal out of this. All I’m saying is, I get home from a hard day at work, and all I want to do is sit down, have a beer, and relax with some internet encyclopedia pages about battleships. But here she comes—“she,” ...