WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
In an attempt to qualify for the third democratic debate, set to air on September 12th on ABC, ten struggling democratic candidates have combined forces by merging into one super-candidate, an amorphous blob reportedly weighing 1,500 pounds. The super-candidate, which formerly inhabited the individual bodies of Kirsten Gillibrand, Tom Steyer, ...
September, 2019
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28 September
St. Louis MLS Team Somehow Relegated to DIII
Heartbreak has already befallen St. Louis’s newly-awarded Major League Soccer team before their first season has even begun. The team, which has yet to be named, has somehow already been relegated to Division III of the NCAA. The announcement has raised concerns and confusion, considering the MLS operates outside of ...
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28 September
Inspiring: This Social Justice Warrior Could Save Us All
ST. LOUIS, MO—Washington University Student and proud Chaco wearer Harley Jensen might be the hero this crumbling planet needs. “Harley works tirelessly to redeem our vice-ridden society,” says a source close to the subject. “From retweeting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to posting snapshots of the Amazon’s burnt husk, she fights to bring ...
June, 2019
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6 June
Ad Council Debuts Reverse Psychology Anti-Smoking Campaign
In an innovative marketing move, the Ad Council debuted a series of PSA’s last week using reverse psychology to fight teen smoking. The campaign, titled “Smoke You Pussy,” hopes to incite anti-authority reactions in the nation’s rebellious teens. Ads featured will contain images of teens portrayed as popular, attractive, and ...
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6 June
Sesame Street Foreclosures Escalate Neighborhood Tensions
Hostilities reached a tipping point on Sesame Street last Thursday when yet another forced eviction drew police presence to the neighborhood. Tenant and local barber Theodore PoodleDoodle refused to vacate his property upon arrival of foreclosure agents, enlisting help from neighbors to incite a riot. Witnesses describe a standoff between ...