WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Google announced this afternoon that it would buy France, the popular European country, for stock that it valued at $1.65 Trillion. Google beat out a number of other France suitors, including the United Kingdom, Germany, and Elon Musk. By once again successfully negotiating the deal, Google has once again proved ...
May, 2017
-
2 May
Freshman Recognized After Taking Service Trip to Traditional Dorm
Calling it an “act of compassion,” Vice Chancellor Holden Thorp commemorated freshman Taylor Wong for her service trip to a traditional dorm at a school-wide ceremony this past Friday. “Taylor’s courageousness and bravery to visit a place that is in such need of help ought to inspire all of us,” ...
-
2 May
History of the Eco To-Go Box
August 14th 2016: Eco-To-Go box arrives to Wash U after being made in a Chinese Factory. August 29th 2016: Freshman Henry Newberg receives Eco-To-Go box from Bear’s Den after receiving a free voucher from his RA. August 30th 2016: Freshman Henry Newberg vomits in the Eco-To-Go box after a rough ...
April, 2017
-
10 April
After a Month of Crushing Defeats, Trump Gathers Cabinet to Beat Them at “Trump The Game”
It’s been a rough month for President Trump. With his refugee ban blocked by federal judges and Obamacare intact after a disastrous episode in Congress, Trump has few successes and many broken campaign promises under his belt. However, Trump’s L-train seems to be in reverse after President Trump crushed his ...
-
10 April
Forsyth Apartment Increasingly Nervous Assholes Might Actually Rent It
Reports confirmed that local apartment 7222 Forsyth Blvd. 3W is growing uneasy that the snot-nosed punks who toured it last week might actually sign the lease and rent it. With no new tours since then, 3W has been left to contemplate what it calls “a worst case scenario.” “I can’t ...