WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
November, 2016
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4 November
Junior Wakes up Face-First in a Ditch, Still Pretty Confident he Remembers Fall WILD
Pulling his face from the caked mud of a drainage ditch two doors down from his off-campus apartment, junior Justin Navarro told reporters that he definitely remembers making it to fall WILD this year. “Oh yeah, I was totally there,” Navarro said, picking pebbles out of his hair and tripping ...
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4 November
United States Admits Half of Existing Conspiracies True; Conspiracy Theorists Vindicated
The U.S. government released a statement on Tuesday confirming that exactly half of all existing conspiracy theories are true, surprising many and filling others with a smug sense of satisfaction. The entire nation has been discussing the comprehensive 1,543-page report confirming and denying various conjectures. Many conspiracy theorists, both amateur ...
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4 November
Campus Embroiled in Controversy After Sorority Girl Fails to Instagram Darty
With midterm season now over, students have embarced “darty season,” with at least 4 Saturday-afternoon bangers being held last weekend. However, a fun weekend has turned into a sour week as controversy surrounds campus about whether Junior Danielle Horowitz attended the weekend festivities after she failed to document the event ...