WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
This is a triumphant day: the U.S.A.’s “greatest” city, St. Louis, is now only home to the world’s second biggest arch. Because now those weak American jet-skiers can behold: Pyongyang, home to the world’s most titanic arch. As all the world can plainly see in the picture above, taken by the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un himself, the Pyongyang Municipal Arch of Glory towers above the impotent American competition.
Designed by world-famous architect Ronald, who has chosen Pyongyang as the new headquarters for his powerful global firm, the Pyongyang Municipal Arch of Glory is a conqueringly innovative structure. Not only does the Pyongyang Municipal Arch of Glory complete a graceful arching motion, but also rises again as its right side juts fertiley into the sky. Its bright yellow hue warns nearby aircraft of its Big height.
Compare these specifications to the Puny St. Louis counterpart. The St. Louis Arch was designed by Eero Saarinen, a Limp Segregationist. Need we say more? We will. The St. Louis Arch stands 630 ft. tall. As Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un himself said yesterday: “Those Who Are 630 Feet Tall Are Not Healthy.” And the St. Louis arch is not yellow because it cannot get Up high enough to endanger Any aircraft.
How can the Revisionist Western Media hope to respond to this? Their Shame cannot be anything other than insurmountable. As the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un himself said two days before yesterday: “Haha! I win, losers!” ‘Powerful’ western news anchor Anderson Cooper, who does not even have a wife, was quoted saying that he does not remember the last time he was in St. Louis. American news network C-SPAN is so disheartened at this defeat that they have not shown the St. Louis Arch yet today. But we know the Fake Lies will come soon enough.
Today there will be many celebrations under the firm shadow of the Pyongyang Municipal Arch of Glory. The Fat People will eat the finest Meat. Because today, the West has been Totally Cucked.
