Sorority Rush is right around the corner, so you need to follow these essential tips if you want to get a bid! 1. Start prepping for when you accept your bid — get that liver to work! An essential part of the new member process includes forced drinking, so make sure to ...

We were too lazy to come up with another new article for this issue, so here’s some of our best work from the last few millennia of WUnderground.   June 3rd, 1453 – Study abroad in Constantinople canceled after city sieged “Our big concern is that credits earned under the ...

Dear Chancellor Wrighton,   On behalf of everyone here at WUnderground, we would like to apologize. We’ve been harsh to you over the years, unfairly so, and it’s time to right our wrongs. Though WUnderground is Wash U’s premier [only] satirical newspaper, there is a line when it comes to ...

Review of the Best St. Louis Ribs, by a Starving African Child     Salt & Smoke: 2 out of 5 “The only advantage of Salt & Smoke it is that it’s only a 20 minute walk from the South 40. The rub was certainly unique—it was overloaded with brown ...

Responding to concern about fires near its nuclear waste dumps north of St. Louis, Mallinckrodt Pharmaceuticals assured citizens that the possible release of airborne radiation would actually have positive health effects, like giving everyone superpowers. The fires, which have been burning for nearly five years, have been getting closer and ...

Bringing together scholars of various faiths, religious leaders met at the Vatican last weekend to discuss a recently uncovered and highly controversial new text. The text was received by Umar ibn Qaboos, a Hanifi Islamic scholar from Oman. Sent from a girl named Emily, a companion of Qaboos’, the text ...

Republican presidential hopeful and Muppet surgeon Ben Carson made waves Thursday with his daring new plan to stop women from getting abortions. Building on the logic of his controversial comment about mass shootings from early October, the doctor argued that fetuses should take a more aggressive stance against their attackers. ...

Describing the event as “one of the more harrowing experiences of [her] young life,” sophomore, Eliza Furman, recounted how a routine weekly call to her grandmother took a turn for the worse when her aging Bubbe refused to allow the conversation to end.   The call began as normal, with ...