WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Satire papers do exist on this campus. And they are a menace. I have conducted multiple interviews with an anonymous source (who is definitely not my friend) who went through the recruitment process for one such publication, WUnderground. And I am on a crusade to expose the inner-workings of this paper.
My friend (who I will refer to as “anonymous source” instead of a pseudonym) involved me in WUnderground, even though I was not a member. I carried the weight of keeping WUnderground’s secrets, like why they’re all so attractive and naturally hilarious. My anonymous source lied to me about their involvement in the satire paper and forced me to lie, isolating me from my friends. When people would speculate about the face behind WUnderground’s Instagram posts, I had to pretend like I knew nothing.
Now, I walk around campus in fear. Fear that a knock-knock joke from a passerby will unleash my PTSD. I struggle with being on campus at night, scared that I may come across a pun in the wild. It’s hard to keep my thoughts in check. When I wake up in the morning, the first words out of my mouth are “yo mama.” I grieve the person I was before I was aware of WUnderground.
To paint a picture of the true insidiousness of WUnderground, let me provide one (1) concrete example. My anonymous source was recruited in the fall of 2023 in an email: “Please keep the night of Thursday and Friday open for callbacks.” Though she went of her own volition, my anonymous source was subject to scrutiny and ridicule during the “callbacks.” How was she supposed to know that a satire paper would ask her to create funny content? The recruitment process quickly accelerated to wordplay, niche references, and jokes with accents. My anonymous source felt incredible anxiety, being asked to perform at the callback that she willingly showed up to of her own accord.
This is my only evidence. But it clearly demonstrates the danger that satire papers pose. Being in a satire paper can damage or sever a member’s relationships. My anonymous source often leaves for an hour at a time, once a week, and comes back all giggly and full of ideas. It’s disgusting.
If you are approached by or receive an email from WUnderground, do not engage. To those involved in WUnderground’s product, I hope you feel shame. I am calling on the WUnderground Executive Board to step down. You know who you are.
