WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
A coal mine in eastern Wyoming has found a holiday- themed solution to get out
of work once and for all. On December 6th, mine worker Gary Sherwood realized that by acting up on the job he would be obliging Santa Claus to bring him coal for the holidays. “According to Christmas lore, Santa brings coal to all the naughty boys and girls. So as long as I don’t work hard, I’ll find this month’s coal quota in my stocking on December 25th!”
Sherwood’s realization quickly spread to his coworkers, who have all jumped on board. Miners have been reported spitting in each other’s faces, taking longer lunch breaks, and using company money for this year’s Yankee Swap gifts. The miners are sure their antics have placed them on Santa’s naughty list. Santa Claus has not yet responded to con rm their claims or even the nature of his existence. At press time, the naughty miners were patiently waiting for Christmas morning as the mine faced a steep economic downturn.
