WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Established rapper Yung Turkey has certainly made his mark on the music scene. Over a career spanning decades, he has popularized a genre known as ‘Gangsta Rap,’ sometimes controversial for its vulgar, demeaning lyrics. But it seems that the rapper is ready to turn over a new leaf. He tells all, right here, in his exclusive interview with WUnderground.
WUnderground: So, Yung Turkey, pleasure to have you here today. What are your plans for the future?
Yung Turkey: Well you know man, I’m just growin’ as an artist. Growin’, changin’, gettin’ better each and every day. You know, I’m more socially conscious now than I was a few years ago.
WUnderground: Oh yeah, and how’s that?
Turkey: Well you know that part in my song “A Casual Night” that goes: All these bitches in the club/ bitch if you know wus’ up/ get down with me / suck, fuck, then leave?
WG: Of course.
Turkey: Well, some women felt the song was a bit rude. So I replaced “bitches” with another word.
WG: What did you replace it with?
Turkey: Faggots.
WG: Oh. Well, that might have not been the best choice. “Faggots” is still an offensive word.
Turkey: Huh. Well ‘aight how ‘bout this one—you know my classic track “Strippas?” I switched up the line, “I threw money at that Latina like she was my maid” so that now it’s “Latinx” instead. Gotta be more gender neutral, fo sho. Bit harder to pronounce now, though.
WG: I mean, that line is still based on a racist stereotype.
Turkey: Okay, okay hear me out. In my brand new song “Rate Dape,” the line used to be, “This girl at the bar is lookin’ fine as can be / so I put a pill in her drink, and now she’s comin’ home with me.”
WG: Oh my god, I didn’t even know about that one. That’s horrible.
Turkey: I know, that’s what my boys told me! So I changed it to “dissolvable tablet” ‘cause I know some people have a hard time swallowing pills. Can’t be ostracizing nobody, you feel?
WG: Okay, you are actually awful.
Turkey: I changed my song “Little White Slut” to “Floozy Caucasian Woman.”
WG: Nope. Uh-uh.
The Artist Formerly Known As Yung Turkey: Instead of Yung Turkey, I’m rebranding myself as Retard Chicken.
WG: Your name wasn’t offensive to begin with!
It’s clear that while Retard Chicken may believe his heart is in the right place, he has many steps to go to become truly Woke™.