CGI Coordinator for The Mummy Finally Speaks Out

After 22 years of denying interviews to reporters, the special effects coordinator on the set of The Mummy finally agreed to give us an insight into the wonders of The Mummy universe—and why he quit during the shooting of the second movie. 

“Brendan Fraser was a method actor, you see,” special effects coordinator John Andrew Berton Jr. began his speech, which he had apparently prepared the night before and scribbled on the insides of his palms. “Like he would beg the producers to use his 600 pet tarantulas in his mummy scenes instead of editing them in. That’s messed up man, like who the fuck does that kind of fucking shit?” 

Berton Jr. claims that his therapy expenses between 1999, when the first movie was shot, and 2001, when he had to quit on the set of the second movie, caused him to lose all his money, his wife, kids, and his fetish for sexy archaeologists.

This isn’t the first accusation Fraser has faced about his dark desires—in 2001, when a video was leaked of him snorting mounds of expired vitamin C in his trailer on the set of The Mummy Returns, he responded to the public outrage by saying “WHAT? I’M THE MUMMY MAN, AND MUMMY MAN NEEDS HIS JUICE,” before giving an impromptu speech about “the falling towers of Mammon” which some later commentators have interpreted as a premonition of 9/11. 

“Every morning I’d come to set thinking I was gonna CGI some bats in a cave or something, but then Brendan would jump out of his trailer with a handful of live bats in his arms,” said Berton Jr.

Witnesses on the set said that Fraser would often try to method act as the Mummy, on top of his own character, to “show his range”: going into trances, claiming to be possessed, and shouting prophecies to the crew about the coming 2006 Britney Spears downfall. On one instance, Fraser attempted to pull set members’ tongues out, but in a “really slow, impotent way that didn’t even qualify as a tug.”

“God, I can’t get rid of the burning image of his dead fish eyes piercing through my soul!” said Berton Jr. as he was escorted out.

When asked to comment, Brendan Fraser just emailed us a photo of himself wrapped in toilet paper.