Is Your Roommate Rich?

Dear Callan,

So my roommate and I have never been particularly close, but after the SES report about WashU came out, I’m starting to think she might be a 1%-er. But I’m not sure how to tell? Are there signs I should be looking for?

-Rich Roomie Quan

Dear RRQ,

A classic problem! Sometimes it’s hard to tell when a classmate is a 1%-er, but there are some telltale signs.

Look at what they wear… Does she wear a Canada Goose jacket? Did she buy jeans with holes already in them? Does he own shoes? These are all classic signs of a wealthy roommate.

How do they live? Does he have Wydown Water? Did she bring her own chandelier? Is she living in veast next year? Does she leave cash and gold bars lying around? Does he have consistent access to clean water? Does he have a comforter instead of a cardboard box and trash bag?

What do they eat? This is one of the most telltale signs! Does she snack on unshelled pistachios and drink Voss water? Does he go to Pastaria weekly? At Ibby’s does he get steak? Does she not dig through the compost for chicken bones to make a weekly stew? How many times has he even had stone soup!?

Do they talk about their family? Does her dad manage a hedge fund? Did both her parents to to Princeton? Do all 4 of her grandparents not sleep in the same bed? Has he loss fewer than two siblings to the black death?

RRQ, if you answered yes to any of these questions, your roomie is probably a 1%-er!

Xoxo,

Callan