WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Dear WashU students!
As we gear up for our next round of class registrations, I wanted to bring your attention to a new course being offered in the Olin Business School in thefall. It has come to our attention in recent years that while many of our students have graduated and moved on to do great, impressive, and incredibly important jobs such as [making McRibs at McKinsey and baining at Bain…idk we’re in WUnderground we don’t actually get what you guys are up to in the big leagues] or [convincing Chad and Thad to invest in Boeing’s latest line of child-proof rocket launchers or wiping David’s literal asshole until he decides to retire and makes you partner] we’ve started to notice that there seems to be a minor gap in the educational curriculum we’ve been provided. “Nonbusiness for Business Students,” a new OPTIONAL elective course will provide students with basic social concepts and ethical principles that the plebeians/the poors have decided to adopt as “common sense” for society. While these concepts that will be brought up over the course may seem nonsensical—or worse— contradictory to the main pursuit in life of getting this bread, they may help ease the amount of glares our alumni get as they stroll past their neighbors the next time they collapse the stock market.
