WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Hulk the Second from the Lopata House, Village, passed away on Tuesday, January 24, 2023. He was one month and seventeen days old. Hulk was hatched from his aquatic egg sack in early December. At least, his owners hope so. Otherwise, he sat in that shit-filled Petco fish tank way ...
February, 2023
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15 February
Annual Letter from Your Midwestern Grandma
Annual Letter from Your Midwestern Grandma Dearest Eldest (or Blondest) Grandchild, Seasonal greetings from [Insert region that begins with “Central”]. I rarely get to see you because your heretical parents keep you from me, and apparently, your generation does not “do” telegrams. As such, I will tell you about ...
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15 February
Little Asshole Thinks He’s Something Special
Well, if it isn’t the belle of the ball. In a stunning display of injustice, Mom and Dad–I mean someone else’s mom and dad–have lowered their standards for praise. Now, and here is the kicker, they haven’t lowered their standards for me, just my– I mean someone else’s–little brother. What’s ...
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15 February
Duck, Duck, Canada Goose: How to Spot Which Students Will Overpay for Your Shitty Weed
Instagram – if they have any pictures from rooftop bars in Manhattan, they’re loaded and just smoking to look cool; slide in those DMs. Management 101 – Keep an eye out for any Armani suits. Actually, you can just keep an ear out. They will bring it up. Wallace Garage ...
December, 2022
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24 December
Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky Celebrate Kwanzaa at WashU
We outsourced this article to ChatGPT and asked it to write a funny story about the title subject. Remember, AI will steal your job, then your quirky side passions. Chancellor Andrew Martin and Monica Lewinsky were both in for a surprise when they arrived at Washington University in St. Louis ...