WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004

December, 2022

• 1 December

  Fraternities as Training for Your First Year Summer as a Camp Counselor

  

  There’s currently so much pressure to have an internship to get you ready for Goldman starting your first summer, but when the career coaches tell you it’s no worries, they just want to make their jobs easier! And they do. Despite your greatest efforts, you’ll probably get that $800 camp ...
• 1 December

  Love-Hate Relationship

  

  Shame on you, the know-it-all that you are! I bestow upon you a problem and, look, there it is, the answer! You reduce my most pressing adversities to subjects of analytical dissections, stripping them of their depth and complexity. You act as if you have the keys to the universe, ...
• 1 December

  Clash of the Titans

  

  CLAYTON, MO – The divisions between WashU’s straight men have never been so deep. Timberland Boots, which had this campus in a chokehold circa 2019, have been steadily losing ground to LL Bean’s “duck boots,” a relative newcomer in the world of low-effort WashU men’s fall fashion. Our in-depth campus ...

October, 2022

• 27 October

  Illiterate Student Society Launches New “guiawerhfewiuhfakjhf” Campaign

  

  WashU’s little-known illiteracy club launches into the public eye as they begin a new campus-wide media campaign. Students report sightings of flyers across campus, on bulletin boards, in bathroom stalls, and wedged between chicken and fries in a dining hall dish which wishes to remain anonymous.    But what is ...
• 27 October

  Skandalaris Center Launches New “Sue the Poors” Service

  

  Following the successes of programs like WashU Wash and WaterDrop’d, the Skandalaris Center has elected to open yet another business directed towards its prime clientele, the children of the one percent. This new small business, known as “Sue the Poors”, will provide an indispensable service to WashU students, by opening ...