WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Look. Iām not trying to make a big deal out of this. All Iām saying is, I get home from a hard day at work, and all I want to do is sit down, have a beer, and relax with some internet encyclopedia pages about battleships. But here she comesāāshe,ā ...
April, 2022
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1 April
Opening of Starbucks in McKelvey Hall to Provide Valuable Internship Opportunities for Political Science Majors
The Career Center recently announced that the opening of Starbucks in McKelvey Hall will also double as an internship program specifically targeted at the Universityās political science majors.Ā āStarbucks will be great for these students,ā said Mark Goldstein, a spokesperson for the Career Center. āItās a pretentious enough environment so ...
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1 April
Breaking News: _____ dies!
_____ ______ (obscure C-list actor) has died at _____ (unusually young age) years old due to ____________ (foodborne illness you once caught at Chipotle). He is known for his roles in _____________ (cable show that only had one season) and ______________ (overly-priced off-Broadway show), but also for his involvement with ...
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1 April
Tinder Adds āActively Infectedā Feature
Last Spring, Tinder, the most popular dating cough self-indulgent, masturbatory swiping cough platform among young adults, introduced a feature allowing users to indicate whether they had been vaccinated against COVID-19. Now, the company has pivoted and released an update allowing users to indicate whether they have an active COVID-19 infection.Ā ...
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1 April
Andrew D Martin: An Inside View on the Man
Andrew D. Martin. The enigma. Many wonder how he handles his prestigious responsibilities. Sources close to the Chancellor have informed WUnderground that he has been suffering from insomnia since taking up his administration last year. They also sent us the following transcript of his conversation with his psychiatrist. MARTIN: You ...