WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
1. Samuel L. Jackson reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar 2.Whoever the fuck “Surfaces” is 3. All 3 Spider-Men 4. Live feeding of SU funds to an alligator 5. Only the dead Beatles 6. Ken Bone 7. The Aristocats 8. WUPD Mental Health Attack Squad 9. Chancellor Martin’s Spotify Wrapped 10. ...
January, 2022
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5 January
In Defense of Wingdings
👍□■⬧♓♎♏❒ ⧫♒♏ ■□♌●♏ ♒♓♏❒□♑●⮹🞐♒📬 ❄♒♏ 🔾♓♑♒⧫⮹ ♋■♍♓♏■⧫ ☜♑⮹🞐⧫♓♋■⬧ ♓■❖♏■⧫♏♎ ♋■♎ 🔾♋⬧⧫♏❒♏♎ ◆⬧♏ □♐ ⧫♒♏ ♌♏♋◆⧫♓♐◆● ♋❒⧫ ♐□❒🔾 ♐□❒ ⧫♒♏ ⬧♋🙵♏ □♐ ♍□🔾🔾◆■♓♍♋⧫♓□■📪 ♋■♎ ♓⧫ ♓⬧ ♍□■⬧♓♎♏❒♏♎ ⧫□ ♌♏ □■♏ □♐ ⧫♒♏♓❒ ♑❒♏♋⧫♏⬧⧫ ♓■❖♏■⧫♓□■⬧📪 ♋●□■♑ ⬥♓⧫♒ ⧫♒♏ 🞐⮹❒♋🔾♓♎⬧ ♋■♎ 🔾◆🔾🔾♓♏⬧ ♋■♎ ⬧⧫◆♐♐📬 ✌●♋⬧📪 ♓■ ⧫♒♓⬧ 🔾□♎♏❒■ ⬥□❒●♎ ⬥♏ ♍♋●● ♒□🔾♏📪 ⧫♒♏ ...
October, 2021
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15 October
Top 10 Sharks
Great white Okay white Left shark The one from Shark Tales my dad thinks is gay Me when the kids at the local pool ask me to be the shark in their sharks and minnows game The one that raced Michael Phelps (and won!) Mark Cuban The one whose teeth ...
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15 October
We Sent the Boss Baby to the Maternity Ward to Train the Newbies
According to the CDC, nearly 4 million babies are born every year in the U.S. That’s nearly three times the size of the U.S. military. However, this high birth rate means little to nothing considering how weak, dumb, and wrinkly the vast majority of babies are. But what if we ...
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15 October
My Interview With the Anti-LARPing Movement
This past weekend, a group of concerned citizens gathered around the Koenig lawn to obstruct the training session of the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, or what the protestors refer to as ‘LARPers”. I asked around to get a better understanding of their diverse grievances. “Every Saturday I look out from ...