Breaking News

January, 2022

  • 5 January

    WashU College Republicans Invade Afghanistan

    This morning, the WashU College Republicans announced that they are commencing a full-out invasion of the State of Afghanistan. This news comes after the US recently pulled all troops out of Kabul in August, and after failing to do so in July, and after failing to do so in June, ...

  • 5 January

    WashU’s Depression Olympics

    As the weather begins to dip into a chilly Midwestern 45, seasonal depression is starting to consume WashU’s exhausted student body. In the long lines of Cherry Tree, students can be seen sipping watered down coffee murk in between “eye rests.” One student can be seen on the brink of ...

  • 5 January

    Op-Ed: I Interned in NYC This Summer. Let Me Tell You About It

    Sorry, not to interrupt whatever you were saying. I’m sure it was really interesting. But I interned in New York this summer. Let me tell you about it.  It was great and I learned a lot about myself and living in the world…actually, it was super depressing. I took pictures ...

  • 5 January

    University Community Reacts with Mixed Feelings to Need-Blind Admissions Policy

    On Oct. 4, Washington University announced that it is adopting a need-blind admissions policy starting this application cycle. Many thought that the University’s unprecedented $5.7 billion endowment pool gains are what triggered the policy adoption. However, Chancellor Andrew Martin, in an interview, explained that this was not the case. “We ...

  • 5 January

    Top 10 Artists For WILD

    1. Samuel L. Jackson reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar 2.Whoever the fuck “Surfaces” is 3. All 3 Spider-Men 4. Live feeding of SU funds to an alligator 5. Only the dead Beatles 6. Ken Bone 7. The Aristocats 8. WUPD Mental Health Attack Squad 9. Chancellor Martin’s Spotify Wrapped 10. ...