WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Ah, autumn. The metaphorical teenage years of the first semester of your freshman year. By now, youāve probably settled into a good routine: figured out how to study for that class, talked to that guy you like, maybe even learned your limits with alcohol (donāt worry you definitely havenāt!). But ...
October, 2024
February, 2024
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15 February
You Asked For Virginity: Here’s a Review of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
Every good abstinent boy knows his Zelda games. And in the case of 2023ās The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, it was a pleasure to make its acquaintance. The latest game in the long-running series serves primarily as a sequel to 2017ās smash hit The Legend of ...
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15 February
Sidechat to Pioneer Celibacy Awareness Club
Can you believe itās only been a little over a year since YikYak I mean Gaggl I mean Sidechat took WashU by storm? For just over 3 grueling semesters, our esteemed scholar champions have been able to project their stream of consciousness both completely unprompted, and, better yet, completely anonymously ...
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15 February
Habif Denies People STI Testing: Too Many People Who Donāt Fuck Are Using the Tests
In a recent campaign to boost morale among Habif staff and save money in a healthcare system that has been immensely affected by inflation, Habif employees have created restrictions on who can take a test to check for sexually transmitted diseases.Ā The parameters:Ā āBut do you think they actually fuck?āĀ ...