WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Hope Hicks, the White House’s communications director, may seem like an unlikely choice for the post-modern feminist hero. Ms. Hicks has always been cast aside as a background player in the mayhem of this presidential administration. But this week, she has clearly proven to all young girls in America that ...
April, 2021
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28 April
Opinion: I Have the Right to Not Wear Pants
There seems to be a crisis nowadays—a pandemic, if you will—in which the individual’s responsibility to society is called into question. Whether or not you take certain actions has suddenly become indicative of a person’s character, despite the fact that these actions are in truth quite ridiculous. I am here ...
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28 April
How to Pick Up Girls on Zoom
Hey, freshman! Yeah bro, you right there. Way you’re walking, looks like the only thing you’ve been crushing this semester is tap water. I get it I get it, things are dry these days: no Big Daddy’s, no TKE basement, no Chem PLTL. Most of the girls in your life ...
April, 2020
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11 April
CDC Officials Tell People to Panic, Absolutely Panic
WASHINGTON D.C. — At an unplanned press conference on Friday, CDC Director Robert Redfield informed Americans that right now the most constructive thing to do in response to the Coronavirus is panic, absolutely panic. Sweating and panting uncontrollably, the visibly frightened CDC Director told Americans to just “freak the fuck ...