WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
ATLANTA, GAāScientists at the Center for Disease Control have found startling research on the Fila Disruptors, the Thot Shoe that has seen increased popularity following Hot Girl Summer. Lead scientist Dr. Whet Faartz has discovered that wearing these specific Fila shoes leads to increased levels of aggression and violence. The ...
November, 2019
-
15 November
So, You’re Reading WUnderground…
And youāre enjoying it! This is funny, right? You appreciate our clever jokes and quirky social commentary. Our scathing and finely honed humor just hits a bit differently than that elementary bullshit your suitemates enjoy. Itās elegant and polished, like a fine red wine. And you definitely drink red wine. ...
-
15 November
Profile of Regina George
Regina George… how do I even begin to describe Regina George? Regina George is flawless I heard she does car commercials in Kazakhstan One time she stole liquor out of her dadās butler pantry and pawned it for 800 cases of Chef Boyardee. During gym class, she doesnāt just get ...
-
15 November
Chancellor Martin Promotes New Solar Energy Plan
The newly inaugurated Chancellor Andrew D. Martin believes WashU can play a part in combating global warming. āThese rising temperatures threaten our way of life,ā he said at a congratulatory dinner in which he announced his new Solar Energy Plan, āand we need to do something.ā Martin continued to prophesy ...
-
15 November
SEEKING: Amateur Bagpipe Artist to Play at Fishās Funeral Wake
Contact: 316-420-6969 Seeking amateur bagpipe musician for Beta fishās funeral wake (my mom was right, I can never be entrusted with another living thing). Qualifications Must have at least 1 year of experience Actually, fuck it, Iāll take anything I can get at this point My living room is starting ...