WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Mr. Clean sighed, stooping to reach the tiles of the Williams family kitchen. “It gets grout, too,” he muttered, scrubbing vigorously between the tiles. Only minutes before, the famed product spokesman had finished disposing of the remains of his former partner, Scott Williams, following a dispute Wednesday evening. Local authorities ...
February, 2019
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22 February
Op-Ed: Love at First Heist: Falling in Love with My Carjacker
The recent crime wave affecting the WashU community has undoubtedly left an impact. Whether it’s students living off-campus watching over their shoulders with renewed vigilance or WUPD officers working overtime to broadcast incident reports via email blasts, many of us have been affected in one way or another. However, for ...
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21 February
ICYMI: Donald Trump’s State of the Union Address
Citizens across the country watched nervously as President Trump addressed the nation, hoping that there would be some clarification regarding the recent government shutdown that withheld pay from hundreds of thousands of government workers. For those of you who fell asleep halfway through the world’s longest speech, here’s a few ...
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21 February
Fatal Trolley Accident Shakes Things Up For Housing Lottery
In the frosty depths of January, two Wash U freshmen were killed in a freak trolley accident. Austine Munster suffered spinal and cranial pulverization and Chad Brunswick was disemboweled when an innocent stunt involving a Bird Scooter and a beer funnel went tragically wrong on Delmar Boulevard. A month later, ...
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21 February
Can We Guess Which Frat Cut You?
No bid? No sweat, WUnderground has got you covered. We can tell you exactly where and why you got cut this rush season.