WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
1.) She has a cellphone. 2.) She answers emails from her private email server 3.) She holds the door open for unsuspecting strangers 3b). She stayed back to talk to the professor office hours 4.) She knows how to give suspiciously good back rubs, as if she’s been practicing with ...
March, 2017
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26 March
The WUnderground Award-Season Rundown
Well itās that time of year again: porno awards season! Hollywood is abuzz with buzz, and critics are slurping up films like particularly delicious semen. Female pornstars are dressing up real nice, and male pornstars are showing off their finest designer assless chaps. Redheaded pornstars finally get to walk down ...
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26 March
Student Taxidermy Club Forced To Shutter After Discovery of “Josh From K4” Exhibit
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ST LOUIS- Reports of strange activity linked to members of Beary Stiff, the campus taxidermy club, were met with further investigation after maintenance staff stumbled upon a preserved student corpse on Friday afternoon. Sources say that freshman student Josh Tambor was found mummified in a 2nd floor Olin study room, ...
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26 March
Freshman Girl Discovers 150 āLong-lost Sisters;ā Confronts Parents
Last weekend, upon accepting a bid to Wash Uās Gamma Upsilon Chapter of the Theta Omega Epsilon International Womenās Fraternity, freshman Ariella Rosenfeld made an alarming discovery: around 150 sisters, which she had not previously known to exist– and they were all hers. Annie, who grew up ostensibly as ...
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26 March
SHS Prepping for Housing Casualties
In advance of housing petitions opening, Student Health Services has hired some of the worldās top surgeons to mitigate the schoolās annual rooming-inspired mass casualties. “Each year anywhere between fifty and one hundred underclassmen are killed by former suitemates,” claimed SHS director Ira Glass. “Although we can’t stop the coordinated ...