WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā For Uncle Gilmore Cox, being racist at the Thanksgiving dinner table used to be much more fun. In the aftermath of Donald Trumpās election, comments which used to be met by his liberal family members with angry outbursts of disgust are now met only with despondence. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI ...
January, 2017
November, 2016
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26 November
Post-Election Clinton Addresses Local Credit Union
This past Wednesday, Mrs. Clinton delivered remarks at local credit unions about the benefits of āsaving for retirement.ā Coming off a stunning election shock, Hillary Clinton has failed to line up the coveted speaker positions she had from investment banks such as Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase she enjoyed before ...
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26 November
Shy Woman, Consistently Holding a Mug, Claims Sheās an āAvid Writerā
Local bookstore clerk, Veronica Sneebler, went on record last Tuesday claiming that sheās an āavid writerā. However, after a week of intense investigative reporting, we have received contradictory information. According to consistent bookstore visitor and legitimate avid writer, Meredith Wang, Veronica has never actually written. To solve this potentially international ...
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26 November
Sophomore Unaware Thanksgiving to Double as Intervention
According to sources, sophomore Jason Smith is blissfully unaware that his family is planning to use Thanksgiving dinner to intervene on his aggressive social media presence. His family cites his Facebook as the primary cause of the intervention, although his Instagram and Twitter also look to be part of the ...
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26 November
Things Chancellor Wrighton Invented Other Than Glow-Sticks
We all know Chancellor Wrighton invented glow-sticks back when he was at Cal-Tech, forever changing the rave scene for the better. What you might not know, however, is that the Chancellor has actually had a long string of important inventions. Weāve listed some below: The Pill: Hereās another from Wrightonās ...