WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Ah. So you want to go out in, I think it sounds lovelier in Spanish, the āmost violentĆØ Ciudad in America.ā Perhaps your dad paid a proctor $50,000 dollars to inflate your ACT scores and you got into WashU. Maybe your employment at a canine food company brought you here. ...
April, 2023
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28 April
Fiction Fiction Fiction Student Symposium
As John Milton would say, āBrisk as the April buds in primrose season.ā This perfectly sums up the Spring Symposium of Fiction Fiction Fiction 1 students. (Note: their stories are only complete in a āfigurative sense,ā because the writing process is never truly finished.) Courageously, these students have hidden under ...
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28 April
So Your Boyfriend is Going Bald
It happens to all of us at some point. Having an older boyfriend sounded kind of hot until his hair gets wet and you see it: the beginnings of bald patch. Maybe his forehead was already big and his hairline was only getting higher, but, as youāll find out, that ...
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28 April
What Your Most Frequented Dining Hall Says About You
Whispers Simply put, you thrift. You would rather stick a plastic Whispers fork in your eye than wear jeans that are not from Avalon. But for some reason you also are wearing those 300 dollar apple Beats by Dre around your neck like youāre from Shake it Up. Also you ...
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28 April
Jonah Hill Wasnāt the Reason I Started Liking Jewish People, the Parkside Bagel Was. This Is My Story.
Jonah Hill wasnāt the reason I started liking jewish people, the parkside bagel was. This is my story.Ā My biggest issue with Kanye Westās only instagram post is that he claims Jonah Hillās performance in 21 Jump Street is the reason he decided not to hate Jewish people anymore. Iāve ...