WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
After the April 14th walkout in support of adjunct professors was cancelled due to an agreement between the administration and employees, social justice warrior Bryan Bergson is now searching for additional reasons to boycott class. āWhat happened on this campus on April 14th was an outrage,ā claimed Bergson. āAs student ...
April, 2016
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29 April
Grandparents Already Saving Seats for Graduation
With three weeks still remaining before graduation, reports from Brookings Quad indicate that the first sets of grandparents have already arrived to save front-row seats for the ceremony. Their numbers vary as many come and go from the Quad to make frequent trips to the Holmes Lounge soup bar, but ...
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29 April
RA Agrees to Let Resident Keep Prefrosh as Pet
After hours of begging, freshman Alan Block finally got permission from his RA to keep his prefrosh as a pet, so long as he promises to feed him and walk him and love him forever and ever. āThe little guy just showed up outside my door last week, and we ...
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29 April
Cum Trees Preventing Campus from Being Safe Space
The cum trees ā or ājizz treesā as they are colloquially known ā of Washington University have recently come under fire for infringing on the campusās status as a safe space. Students have argued that the trees are olfactorily offensive and help promote white masculine ideals. āI donāt like being ...
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29 April
Fraternity Accused of Sexism, Racism, and Homophobia; Vehemently Denies the Homophobia
After recent accusations of various forms of exclusion, including misogyny, racism, and homophobia, one of Wash U’s social fraternities hasĀ clarified that it isĀ not indeed homophobic. IFC has not released the name of the offending fraternity yet, but yes, itās the one youāre thinking of. āThis isnāt just one or two ...