Breaking News

February, 2016

  • 25 February

    Nation’s Annoying Dads Can’t Wait for Borat Jokes to Be Cool Again

    Saying that it would “make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan,” dads across the nation expressed hope that quoting Sacha Baron Cohen’s 2006 film Borat would soon be cool again. The film, which traces the journey of Kazakh reporter Borat Sagdiyev on his quest to kidnap 90s TV star Pamela Anderson, ...

  • 25 February

    Reviews of Reviews of Kanye West’s The Life of Pablo

    Pitchfork – 8.3./10 Best New Review – Penned after just three full listens of the album, Pitchfork’s Jason Greene dispenses an engrossing chronicle of West’s musical bildungsroman. His varying sentence construction and periodic employment of italics demonstrate his commitment to his modus operandi. The one inhibiting quality of Greene’s assessment ...

  • 25 February

    A Letter from the Editors Regarding Our Block Funding Campaign

    To the Washington University Community, We are thrilled to announce our petition for the purchase of a WUnderground house. For those of you fortunate enough to have so far avoided our incessant online and in-person harassment, we are applying for $1.38 million in block funding from Student Union, funds we ...

January, 2016

  • 28 January

    Professor Considers Dropping Class

    Discussing her spring schedule over lunch in the faculty lounge, Professor Leslie Jenkins told her friends that she was considering dropping the course she’s teaching, “Environmental Culture and Social Principles in the 21st Century.” “I dunno, I just have a really busy schedule this semester is all,” said Jenkins, who ...

  • 28 January

    No-Fun TSA Officer Won’t Drink Smirnoff Ice Hidden in Passenger’s Anus

    Besmirching the sacred covenant of the bro code, wussy-ass TSA Officer Richard Thurmond refused to drop to one knee and chug when presented with a Smirnoff Ice at Lambert Airport on Monday morning. The Ice, which Officer Thurmond discovered during a routine body cavity search, was hidden deep within the ...