WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Facing criticism over reports that heās been training his golden retriever to attack students who receive need-based financial aid, Chancellor Wrighton held a press conference this week to clarify his position on the Universityās economic issues. A source within the Wrighton Administration revealed that the move was made in response ...
November, 2015
October, 2015
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27 October
āSafest WILD Everā sees 30% drop in students attacked by crocodiles
Last weekendās Fall WILD saw remarkable improvements in safety, with record few students suffering crocodile attack related injuries. The numbers are 30% lower than the previous record, leading SPB president Leo Park to declare this the āsafest WILD ever.ā āWeāre really proud of what we accomplished this year safety-wise,ā ...
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23 October
Writing 1 Professor Hopes Students Don’t Realize She’s Tripping On PCP In Class Today
Speaking to reporters on Friday morning, Writing 1 Professor Marilyn Barnhardt expressed hope that her students would not realize she is currently tripping on Phencyclidine, commonly known as PCP. A long-time fan of Kygo, who is headlining this yearās WILD, Barnhardt wanted to ensure she was in the right mindset ...
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2 October
Connie to Add Glass to All Campus Sweets
Connie Diekman of Dining Services has been quietly rolling out her plan this past week to include shards of glass in all baked goods sold on campus. āIāve tried everything that I could think of to get these kids to eat healthy, but not single flier Iāve put in ...
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2 October
Admissions Announces New Strides Towards Intellectual Diversity on Campus
Upperclassmen, you may have noticed something a little different about this yearās batch of freshmen. No, itās not your imagination. It has nothing to do with you looking at the young faces and seeing a less mature reflection of yourself peering out at you across the years with eyes still ...