Chowing down on a piece of Dominoās pizza that he had snuck from a free lunch spread in Bauer Hall, WashU senior Walter Bergstrom reported feeling thrilled by the sudden windfall. Bergstrom, who pays full tuition at one of the most expensive universities in the world, admitted that he probably ...
October, 2015
September, 2015
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28 September
Scientists Discover Life on Fontbonne Campus
A team of researchers from Washington University in St. Louis’s Earth and Planetary Sciences Department rocked the scientific community Monday when they announced the discovery of carbon-based life forms on the Fontbonne University campus. The discovery came late Thursday evening when Sapphire, the 2.4 billion dollar robot sent to explore ...
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28 September
WUnderground Reviews The Fantastic Four
By Jim āThe Trendsetterā Benson If you had told me that fateful Thursday morning what was in store for me later that night, I would slapped you so hard you wouldāve seen stars. Sure Iād seen the trailers, who hadnāt? They played them before every gatdamn movie in the ...
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28 September
Live-Action Role Play Club President Promises Itās Not a Weird Sex Thing
For years, students on the 40 have been exposed to the bi-weekly rituals of the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, which meets on the Koenig lawn every Thursday and Saturday to act out elaborate fantasies. This live-action role playing, or āLARPing,ā generally consists of students dressing up in costumes and smacking ...
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28 September
President Obama Can’t Wait to Jerk Off
Though he assured the public that it wonāt affect the quality of his work, President Obama admitted on Tuesday that it has been about five years since he last masturbated, and that he canāt wait to get out of the White House so he can āfinally settle down for a ...