Breaking News

October, 2015

  • 2 October

    Student who pays $60,000 for tuition excited by free lunch

    Chowing down on a piece of Dominoā€™s pizza that he had snuck from a free lunch spread in Bauer Hall, WashU senior Walter Bergstrom reported feeling thrilled by the sudden windfall. Bergstrom, who pays full tuition at one of the most expensive universities in the world, admitted that he probably ...

September, 2015

  • 28 September

    Scientists Discover Life on Fontbonne Campus

    A team of researchers from Washington University in St. Louis’s Earth and Planetary Sciences Department rocked the scientific community Monday when they announced the discovery of carbon-based life forms on the Fontbonne University campus. The discovery came late Thursday evening when Sapphire, the 2.4 billion dollar robot sent to explore ...

  • 28 September

    WUnderground Reviews The Fantastic Four

    By Jim ā€œThe Trendsetterā€ Benson   If you had told me that fateful Thursday morning what was in store for me later that night, I would slapped you so hard you wouldā€™ve seen stars. Sure Iā€™d seen the trailers, who hadnā€™t? They played them before every gatdamn movie in the ...

  • 28 September

    Live-Action Role Play Club President Promises Itā€™s Not a Weird Sex Thing

    For years, students on the 40 have been exposed to the bi-weekly rituals of the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, which meets on the Koenig lawn every Thursday and Saturday to act out elaborate fantasies. This live-action role playing, or ā€œLARPing,ā€ generally consists of students dressing up in costumes and smacking ...

  • 28 September

    President Obama Can’t Wait to Jerk Off

    Though he assured the public that it wonā€™t affect the quality of his work, President Obama admitted on Tuesday that it has been about five years since he last masturbated, and that he canā€™t wait to get out of the White House so he can ā€œfinally settle down for a ...