WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Extended family members of Anthony Scaramucci cited a growing concern on Friday over the New York businessman’s latest obsession: claiming that spouse, Deidre Scaramucci, is in fact his political rival Reince Preibus. “You would think he’d cut the bullshit after I got him canned but no! Now he’s in my house!” Scaramucci shouted to reporters.
Scaramucci believes the latest move is in retaliation for Mr. Preibus’s removal from the West Wing, a move he cites as motivation for the “admittedly impressive” gambit. “I gotta say, the resemblance is uncanny. He cooks meals like Deidre, picks the kids up from school, even goes to her job.”
Exasperated colleagues suggested Mr. Scaramucci invite Mr. Preibus to a meeting with the couple to eliminate the outrageous claim. The West Wing confidant said this merely confirmed his suspicions. “I invite Reince over the night he’s pushed out and guess what? No response. But sure enough, there’s Deidre when I get home with a big fucking smile on his/her face.”
Mrs. Scaramucci, who filed for divorce on Friday evening, cited her husband’s odd behavior as a contributing factor to the decision. “Sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and he’s wide awake, just staring at me. Other times he’ll call me Reince at the dinner table and waits to see if I react.”
The White House Communications Director won’t let on to the con, he says, so as not to give Mr. Preibus the satisfaction. “I’m just going to act normal until he gives this up. Could take months, years, decades,” he said. “You can’t fool the Mooch,” he whispered to himself.
