WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
The recent news of WebSTAC losing WUSTL Faces has hit the campus community with a particular difficulty. Students are struggling with a wide range of issues on the matter. Student A, who prefers to remain anony- mous, shared that this is her only manner for stalking men she sees at Sumers: “Not only will I not be able to search my gym crushes, but without being able to access their first and last name on Faces, it will take hours longer to find their Linkedin.” She shared that her grade in Orgo is likely to suffer as a result.
The obstacles as a repercussion of losing Faces are not limited to campus prospects. Emma B. shared that she uses Faces to find campus look-alikes. Hearing this, Student A replied, “Somebody has too much free time on their hands.” Emma B. replied to Student A that stalking men on Linkedin is, to paraphrase, a poor use of her time and creepy.
Emma B. is alone in her opinion… A poll from Olin reveals that 79% of students use their LinkedIn for similar purposes. Management 201 may have helped students prepare with “LinkedIn Courses,” but as this study reveals, the real course should be on utilizing the professional networking platform to find out if your future man was
a camp counselor (good with kids), enjoys volunteering (kindhearted), and is majoring in Computer Science (guarantee of future wealth). Students4Stalking is your voice for all important and unimportant stalking-related concerns students have due to the removal of Faces.
Students4Stalking:
Don’t weep, we’ll bring back
Faces so you can creep!
