WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Writing last week in Studlife that the upscale Clayton restaurant Pastaria is a “must-try,” sophomore Studlife reporter Tommy Wright is in hot water, being criticized for “cultural appropriation.” Tommy, whose father is a plumber and mom is a secretary, decided to write about Pastaria after hearing about it from floormates. However, after Studlife published the article late last Sunday night, wealthy kids across the Wash U campus threw up their arms in disgust.
“The offensiveness of this article is almost laughable,” said John Miller, whose father is a film executive. “How dare a poor person talk about Pastaria! That reporter and people like him are ruining our culture. Haven’t they heard of cultural appropriation? That type of behavior disgusts me.”
Since publishing the article, Tommy has been keeping a low profile, even going so far as deleting his Facebook account. Many students have written him threatening emails and letters warning him about encroaching on their culture and lifestyles.
“I thought Wash U was supposed to be a welcoming place for rich kids like myself,” wrote Sammy Kinder in an email to Tommy. “Instead, we get these culturally insensitive pieces from our student newspaper. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why can’t you have an ounce of respect for our culture?” Both of Sammy’s parents are Wall Street attorneys.
As of press time, Tommy was last seen replying “no thanks” after being asked if he wanted extra meat or gauc at the burrito station in the DUC.
