WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
To the Washington University community:
I write to you today to address the Presidential election that concluded yesterday. Yesterday, we, the __(Nationality)___ people, voted into office __(Famous Celebrity)__. While many on this campus may not (verb) with this choice, it is imperative that we now ______(verb)______ together as one _______(body part)______.
Indeed, our new president has a lot on their ___(kitchen appliance or utensil)____. At this increasingly charged time in both our nation’s and our campus’ history, we must remain ______(noun)______ in the _____(type of race)_______ for social and racial equality. If you are at all ___(sexual emotion)_____ in any way, I would like to emphasize that our campus resources, such as _______(Bears’ Den Station)_______ or ____(Upper Row Frat)_____are available to provide assistance.
As an academic institution and as a forum for ____(adjective)_______ speech, it is crucial that we continue to facilitate ____(adjective)_____ dialogue for ____(plural noun)______. University administration will be working actively in the coming weeks to create and develop further programs for ___(name of sport)____ training for both undergraduate and graduate ____(profession)_________.
I have always maintained a/an _____(Adverb) sense of ______(noun)_____in the ability of our campus community to come together after ___(name of fraternity open party)__. It is my hope that students and faculty will open a dialogue for the final weeks of the semester and the year ahead, so that we may serve as an example of ___(circus profession)__ for our collegiate peers.
_____sign-off_______,
Mark S. Wrighton,
Chancellor of ___College in Washington State or Washington D.C.____ University in St. Louis
