WUnderground WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004
Clayton, MO: WUnderground, Washington University’s premier satirical outlet, published an article about itself in an attempt to break the fourth wall. It has 373 total words and appears on the second page of the first WUnderground issue of the semester. The article currently being read is the first instance of ...
November, 2017
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3 November
Recent Study Shows That Nobody Cares About Your Fucking Himalayan Salt Lamp, Laura
A newly released study confirms long-held theories that everybody has had more than enough of your bullshit, Laura. Researchers can now confidently back the hypothesis that we shouldn’t always have to pregame at your place “for the ambiance.” A survey conducted of a random sample of undergraduate females reports that ...
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3 November
Five Steps to the Perfect Mid-Autumn Tan
1. Exfoliate Prior to tanning, exfoliating with a loofah or scrubber helps to get rid of the top layer of dead skin. This allows your tan to develop on the fresh new skin that was underneath, lengthening the duration of your tan! The following link will provide the steps you ...
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3 November
Members of Mystery Inc. Charged with Trespassing, Aggravated Assault
Investigations into Mystery Inc. concluded on Monday morning, with prosecutors leveling charges against several of the firm’s employees for trespassing and felony assault. The vigilante organization, founded by Fred Jones Jr., first generated public scrutiny after hospitalizing area theater director Michael Davensport with a series of improvised “Scooby trap” devices. ...
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3 November
Internet Usage on South 40 Breaks Record During Fall Break
In a surprising statement, the Washington University Director of Technology announced that Fall Break defied all typical trends with a massive spike in Internet usage. The statement theorized that since the four-day weekend allowed many students to leave St. Louis, many roommates were freed of the restrictions of a shared ...